I’m feeling a bit panicky, a little bit anxious.
I’m getting married in 14 weeks. I’m not, as you would have thought, worried about my impending wedding. No, no. That’s all very much in hand. I mean, there are a few creases to iron out, a couple of invites to send out (all of them. Bar two) the food, the drink, the rings, the transport to arrange. No, it’s none of these things. It’s not even my job. I’m fairly unhappy in my job, but who isn’t? Hands up who loves their job? Sorry, I don’t believe you.
No, I’m getting worried about music. I’m nervous about all the new albums and songs being released this year. I’m concerned I’m missing out on something. That something is slipping under the radar. I’m also uneasy about how much of it is really, really, really good. It’s still only February for crying out loud. I was relieved that I listened to something last week and didn’t like it. It was quite a nice feeling. Basically everything I have paid special attention to in the past two months has been ace. I have got three albums this year so far and they are all brilliant. Menace Beach’s debut, Desperate Journalist first release and the return of Idlewild. Noel Gallagher’s second LP will land next week and I’ve pre-ordered the Eaves record. Laura Marling has her 5th album coming out next month and Stornoway release their 3rd full length. I also have tickets to see them in April and May respectively.
There are new bands and artists prodding me constantly in the lugholes, GoldFlakePaint website seem to have an ear for great stuff and I’ve been gravitating to their writing which is quite different and very engaging. I’m now panicking that I’m forgetting something really great that I’ve heard recently. Ben Ottewell, the one from Gomez with the 40-a-day, 60 year olds voice has recently released his second record and it’s flippin’ excellent. He’s playing in two local towns soon. See what I mean!?!?
The other thing is, is that I become obsessed with a record. If you read my twitter feed you will know I tend to bang on about a band or artist if I have them on repeat. Currently it is the new Idlewild record and it’s so damn fine, not least because there was an accompanying acoustic album with it recorded on their Highlands tour last year. Before it was those Desperate Journalist and Menace Beach L.P’s. I basically submerge myself in an album until the next one comes along.
What isn’t helping my almost OCD like vinyl fixation is that the Idlewild double discs were damaged and faulty. A replacement was so close but also kept sticking, and I am awaiting a resolution to this issue with Pledge Music, but the lack of satisfactory vinyl is making me anxious and fidgety. It’s such a dense, lush, atmospheric, beautiful piece of work that I feel that listening to it on my Ipod isn’t doing it justice. I need the record, on my player, headphones on.
One symptom of the obsession is having various parts of different songs going through my head pretty much constantly. Right now, it’s the harmonies in the verses of ‘Every little means trust’. Now it’s the chorus, basically because I just wrote the name of the song down. If I write ‘Utopia’, bang, there you go. The “U-U-U-Utopia” refrain is running through my brain. I’ve just started to listen to the great new Tree Machines track ‘F*cking off Today’ because the title that runs through the chorus came into my head. I’m almost concerned that if I find I like any more of their stuff then that’s another band to add to the list.
Another symptom is discovering a new band/artist/record and then desperately wanting to buy vinyl. Sometimes it may just be that I like the look of the artwork or coloured vinyl, an example is the limited edition version of the new Father John Misty record. Multi-coloured vinyl that looks like it has been painted on with pastels and smudged. Really nice. The music hasn’t exactly grabbed me by the balls but I felt the compulsion to buy the L.P on the coloured vinyl alone. I resisted. I was strong. How ridiculous.
When I think about buying the vinyl or when I listen to a song, I picture myself listening to it on vinyl. I daydream about what it would or will be like to have the record delivered, opening the cardboard packaging, taking off the cellophane, pulling the sleeve out, placing it on the turntable and putting the headphones on and settling down to listen to it. It’s all a bit “High Fidelity” and overly romanticised as the atmosphere of my flat never lives up to the imagined perfect setting, but the same feeling and belief enters my head every time.
I tried to convince myself, last year, that there would only be certain albums that I would need to buy on vinyl, some I would still get on CD. With the issues with the Idlewild vinyl, I started to tell myself that I could just have the CD because, actually, three tracks on each side of vinyl is quite annoying to have to keep getting up to turn over or change. Then on my other shoulder, I tell myself that that is, in fact, the whole point of buying the vinyl instead of the CD or download. The experience. This side also convinces me that there isn’t any point in buying the CD as all new releases, in the majority of cases, provide a download code, so I can have my cake, eat it, and then have more cake whenever I want it.
I am also now worried that the Noel Gallagher and Eaves vinyls won’t play without skipping or sticking. This is isn’t exactly a 21st century concern. When all you could listen to your music on was vinyl, this would have been a constant headache for music lovers. At least I have the consolation of the download on my MP3 player, you say. You are right of course, but it isn’t the same. Although obviously very convenient for the train journey to work.
I feel this has been a cathartic experience for me. I was concerned that I was being irrational, but getting my concerns off of my chest has made me confront my anxiety about something that doesn’t really matter in the grand scheme of things. After all, I’m getting married in 3 months. I wonder if I could take my record player to the venue? What if they get dropped, someone scratches them? Oh for goodness sake!!
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